Thursday, March 13, 2014

Reading Aloud


I'm obsessed with buying books for my 16-month old. Her book collection is already bigger than mine. Studies after studies have shown the benefits of reading, even to an infant.

So, why read to a child?
Daddy reading with Mackenzie

  • Reading builds vocabulary
  • Reading conditions the child’s brain to associate reading with pleasure
  • Reading creates background knowledge
  • When you read aloud, you provide a reading role model
  • And most of all, reading plants the desire to...read!
Here are some do's for reading aloud to a child by Jim Trelease:
  1. Begin reading to children as soon as possible. The younger you start them, the easier and better it is.
  2. Use Mother Goose rhymes and songs to stimulate an infant’s language and listening. Begin with simple black-and-white illustrations at first, and then boldly colored picture books to arouse children’s curiosity and visual sense.
  3. With infants through toddlers, it is critically important to include in your readings those books that contain repetitions; as they mature, add predictable and rhyming books.
  4. During repeat readings of a predictable book, occasionally stop at one of the key words or phrases and allow the listener to provide the word.
  5. Read as often as you and the child (or students) have time for.
  6. Set aside at least one traditional time each day for a story.
  7. Remember: The art of listening is an acquired one. It must be taught and cultivated gradually—it doesn’t happen overnight.
  8. Start with picture books, with only a few sentences on the page, then gradually move to books with more and more text, fewer pictures, and build to chapter books and novels.
  9. Vary the length and subject matter of your readings, fiction and nonfiction.
  10. To encourage involvement, invite the child to turn pages for you when it is time.
  11. Before you begin to read, always say the name of the book, the author, and illustrator—no matter how many times you have read the book.
  12. The first time you read a book, discuss the illustration on the cover. “What do you think this is going to be about?” 
  13. As you read, keep listeners involved by occasionally asking, “What do you think is going to happen next?”
  14. Follow through with your reading. If you start a book, it is your responsibility to continue it—unless it turns out to be a bad book. Don’t leave the child or students hanging for three or four days between chapters and expect interest to be sustained.
  15. Occasionally read above children’s intellectual levels and challenge their minds.
  16. Picture books can be read easily to a family of children widely separated in age. Novels, however, pose a challenge. If there are more than two years (and thus social and emotional differences) between the children, each child would benefit greatly if you read to him or her individually. This requires more effort on the part of the parents, but it will reap rewards in direct proportion to the effort expended. You will reinforce the specialness of each child.
  17. Avoid long descriptive passages until the child’s imagination and attention span are capable of handling them. There is nothing wrong with shortening or eliminating them. Prereading helps to locate such passages, and they can then be marked with pencil in the margin.
  18. If the chapters are long or if you don’t have enough time each day to finish an entire chapter, find a suspenseful spot at which to stop. Leave the audience hanging; they’ll be counting the minutes until the next reading.
  19. Allow your listeners a few minutes to settle down and adjust their feet and minds to the story. If it’s a novel, begin by asking what happened when you left off yesterday. Mood is an important factor in listening. An authoritarian “Now stop that and settle down! Sit up straight. Pay attention” doesn’t create a receptive atmosphere.
  20. No one is too old for a good story, even a picture book.
  21. If you are reading a picture book, make sure the children can see the pictures easily. In school, with the children in a semicircle around you, seat yourself just slightly above them so that the children in the back row can see the pictures above the heads of the others.
  22. In reading a novel, position yourself where both you and the children are comfortable. In the classroom, whether you are sitting on the edge of your desk or standing, your head should be above the heads of your listeners for your voice to carry to the far side of the room. Do not read or stand in front of brightly lit windows. Backlighting strains the eyes of your audience.
  23. Remember that everyone enjoys a good picture book, even a teenager.
  24. Allow time for class and home discussion after reading a story. Thoughts, hopes, fears, and discoveries are aroused by a book. Allow them to surface and help the child to deal with them through verbal, written, or artistic expression if the child is so inclined. Do not turn discussions into quizzes or insist upon prying story interpretations from the child.
  25. Remember that reading aloud comes naturally to very few people. To do it successfully and with ease you must practice.
  26. Use plenty of expression when reading. If possible, change your tone of voice to fit the dialogue.
  27. Adjust your pace to fit the story. During a suspenseful part, slow down, and lower your voice. A lowered voice in the right place moves an audience to the edge of its chairs.
  28. The most common mistake in reading aloud—whether the reader is a seven-year-old or a forty-year-old—is reading too fast. Read slowly enough for the child to build mental pictures of what he just heard you read. Slow down enough for the children to see the pictures in the book without feeling hurried. Reading quickly allows no time for the reader to use vocal expression.
  29. Preview the book by reading it to yourself ahead of time. Such advance reading allows you to spot material you may wish to shorten, eliminate, or elaborate on.
  30. Books aren't written by machines. Prove it by bringing the author alive.
  31. Bring the author to life, as well as his book. Google the author to find a personal Web page, and always read the information on your book’s dust jacket. Either before or during the reading, tell your audience something about the author. This lets them know that books are written by people, not by machines.
  32. Add a third dimension to the book whenever possible. For example, have a bowl of blueberries ready to be eaten during or after the reading of Robert McCloskey’sBlueberries for Sal; bring a harmonica and a lemon to class before reading McCloskey’s Lentil.
  33. Every once in a while, when a child asks a question involving the text, make a point of looking up the answer in a reference book with the child. This greatly expands a child’s knowledge base and nurtures library skills.
  34. Create a wall chart or back-of-the-bedroom-door book chart so the child or class can see how much has been read; images of caterpillars, snakes, worms, and trains work well for this purpose, with each link representing a book. Similarly, post a world or U.S. wall map on which small stickers can be attached to locations where your books have been set.
  35. When children are old enough to distinguish between library books and their own, start reading with a pencil in hand. When you and the child encounter a passage worth remembering, put a small mark—maybe a star—in the margin. Readers should interact with books, and one way is to acknowledge beautiful writing.
  36. Encourage relatives living far away to record stories on audiocassettes that can be mailed to the child.
  37. Reluctant readers or unusually active children frequently find it difficult to just sit and listen. Paper, crayons, and pencils allow them to keep their hands busy while listening. (You doodle while talking on the telephone, don’t you?)
  38. Follow the suggestion of Dr. Caroline Bauer and post a reminder sign by your door: “Don’t Forget Your Flood Book.” Analogous to emergency rations in case of natural disasters, these books should be taken along in the car, or even stored like spares in the trunk. A few chapters from “flood” books can be squeezed into traffic jams on the way to the beach or long waits at the doctor's office.
  39. Always have a supply of books for the babysitter to share with the child and make it understood that “reading aloud” comes with the job and is preferable to the TV.
  40. Fathers should make an extra effort to read to their children. Because the vast majority of primary-school teachers are women, young boys often associate reading with women and schoolwork. And just as unfortunately, too many fathers would rather be seen playing catch in the driveway with their sons than taking them to the library. It is not by chance that male school scores have taken a dramatic downturn in the last three decades. A father’s early involvement with books and reading can do much to elevate books to at least the same status as sports in a boy’s estimation.
  41. Arrange for time each day, in the classroom or in the home, for the child to read by himself (even if “read” only means turning pages and looking at the pictures). All your read-aloud motivation goes for naught if time is not available to put the acquired motivation into practice.
  42. Lead by example. Make sure your children see you reading for pleasure other than at read-aloud time. Share with them your enthusiasm for whatever you are reading.
  43. When children wish to read to you, it is better for the book to be too easy than too hard, just as a beginner’s bicycle is better too small rather than too big.
  44. Encourage older children to read to younger ones, but make this a part-time, not a full-time, substitution for you. Remember: The adult is the ultimate role model.
  45. Regulate the amount of time children spend in front of the television. Research shows that after about ten TV hours a week, a child’s school scores begin to drop. Excessive television viewing is habit-forming and damaging to a child’s development.
  46. When children are watching television, closed-captioning should be activated along with sound. But for older children who know how to read but are lazy about it, keep the captioning on and turn the volume down.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Respect and Dignity

I just love this bit of wisdom about respect and dignity from Melody Beattie's book, "52 Weeks of Conscious Contact":

"The respect and dignity a couple show each other set the table from which they are nourished for all other activities in their lives. Any feeling can be expressed in respectful or disrespectful ways.

Anger is one of the most difficult to express respectfully. Everyone feels frustrated and angry at times. The crucial thing to learn is how to be angry and still be respectful - how to deal with our impatience without blame or put-downs.

Many of us have to learn how to love without being possessive, how to be playful in a lighthearted way with no hidden cutting edge.

When we treat our partner with disrespect, we pour poison into our own well. It may feel satisfying at first, but the long-term consequences are not good to live with.

When we are committed to respect in our relationship, we continue to learn at even deeper levels what respect truly means. We find that simply listening to each other - and letting in our differences - is a form of respect that nourishes us."

Monday, November 25, 2013

Review: Lacome DreamTone

Disclosure: I received complimentary product from SheSpeaks/Lancôme.

I was recently offered an opportunity to try Lancome's new DreamTone color correcting serum. It's been four weeks and I LOVE it! When I was pregnant, I developed dark spots on my face (some call it "pregnancy mask") and my skin has never looked the same. Perhaps it's the sleep deprivation or stress, or both!

I've tried various products but haven't found the right one. When this opportunity came about to try this brand new product, I was so excited to jump on it. It worked like magic for me. I'm using less foundation and feel more confident.

It's hard to tell in the before and after photos below but there really is a difference. Can you tell?




About Lancôme DreamTone: DreamTone is the next generation in dark spot correction. This customized skin tone correcting serum is so powerful, 72% of women dare to bare their skin.* The new DreamTone is 3 barely-tinted serums formulated to visibly correct dark spots, color imperfections and give you a more even-looking skin tone. It comes in 3 serums customized for your skin tone: 1- Fair, 2 – Medium, 3 – Dark.

The results:

IMMEDIATELY:
• 74% saw glowing skin*

7 DAYS:
• 70% noticed a more even skin tone*

4 WEEKS:
• 69% saw the appearance of dark spots reduced*

8 WEEKS:
• 78% saw color imperfections reduced*
*All results based on global self-assessments of women of multiple ethnicities in an 8-week study. 72% reflects 8 weeks of use.

How to Use: For best results, apply the product twice per day, in the morning and evening under your moisturizer.

Purchase Information: Lancôme DreamTone retails for $98 for a 1.3 fl oz. bottle and is available for purchase at Lancôme.com and department stores nationwide.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Love and Marriage

I recently came across a blog post, which really spoke to my heart. The morning that I read it, my husband I had a major argument. I was so upset and hurt from it, I was shaking. On my way to work, as tears were streaming down my face, I prayed for God's mercy, forgiveness and guidance. I prayed that He can show me the way and that I can learn to love and respect my husband and marriage, in His honor.

God responded with the blog post I read. Wow. I want to share these tips for all wives and mothers.



10 Marriage Tips Every Wife Needs to Hear:

  1. Respect your husband.  - Notice how it doesn’t say “Respect your husband if he has earned it”. A man’s greatest need in this world is to be respected, and the person he desires that respect from the most is his wife.  The trap that we’ve all been ensnared by is that they only deserve our respect when they earn it. Yes, we want our husbands to make decisions that will ultimately garner our respect, but the truth is that your husband is a human being. A human being who makes mistakes. This is the man that YOU have chosen to walk alongside you for the rest of your life, and to lead your family and he needs to be respected for that quality alone. Take it from me – when respect is given even when he doesn’t deserve it, it will motivate him to earn it. That doesn’t mean you pretend that his choices are good ones when they aren’t. Things like that still need to be communicated, but you can flesh out your differences WITH RESPECT. It makes all the difference in the world to him.
  2. Guard your heart.  - The grass is not greener on the other side. Do not believe the lie that with a slimmer figure, a higher salary, a faster car, or a bigger house, you will be a happier woman. The world is full of things and people that will serve as reminders that you don’t have the best of the best, but it’s simply not true. Live the life you’ve been blessed with, and BE THANKFUL. I get that we all have struggles, and there are even times when I would love 1,000 more square feet of house to live in, but square feet is not fulfilling – relationships are. Guard your heart from things and people that will try to convince you that your life or your husband is not good enough.  There will always be bigger, faster, stronger, or shinier – but you’ll never be satisfied with more until you’re fulfilled with what you have now.
  3. God, husband, kids…in that order.  - I know this isn’t a popular philosophy, especially among mothers, but hear me out. It’s no secret that my faith is of utmost importance, so God comes first in my life no matter what. But regardless of your belief system, your husband should come before your kids. Now unless you’re married to someone who is abusive  (in which case, I urge you to seek help beyond what my blog can give you), no man in his right mind would ask you to put your kids aside to serve his every need while neglecting them. That’s not what this means. When you board an airplane, the flight attendants are required to go over emergency preparedness prior to takeoff. When explaining the part about how to operate the oxygen mask, passengers are instructed to first put the mask on themselves before putting it on their small child. Is that because they think you are more important than your kids? Absolutely not. But you cannot effectively help your child if you can’t breathe yourself. The same holds true with marriage and parenting. You cannot effectively parent your children if your marriage is falling apart. Take it from me – I tried. There will also come a time when your kids will leave the house to pursue their dreams as adults. If you have not cultivated a lasting relationship with your spouse, you will have both empty nests and empty hearts.
  4. Forgive.  - No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit – for everything from major mistakes to little annoyances (every day, I have to forgive my husband for leaving the wet towel on the bathroom counter ;) ) – you will keep resentment from growing.
  5. Over-communicate.  - I used to have a bad habit of not speaking my feelings. I played the standard “You should know why I’m mad” game, and that’s just downright unfair. Men are not wired like women, and they DON’T always know that they’ve been insensitive. I’m still growing in this area, and there are often times when my husband has to pry something out of me, but I’m trying to remember that I need to just communicate how I feel.
  6. Schedule a regular date night.  - This one isn’t new, but it’s very important. Never stop dating your spouse.  Even if you can’t afford dinner and a movie (which we seldom can), spending some regular one-on-one time with your spouse is essential. Don’t talk about bills, or schedules, or the kids. Frankie and I often daydream about our future, or plan our dream vacation. We connect emotionally and often learn something new about each other – even after four years.
  7. Never say the “D Word”.  - If you’re gonna say it, you better mean it. Plain and simple, threatening divorce is not fighting fair. I did this a lot in my previous marriages. I’m not proud of it, but I learned better. I was hurting deeply, and I wanted to hurt back, but it never helped me feel better.
  8. Learn his love language.  - Everyone has a love language. The way you perceive love is often different from the way your spouse perceives love. Does he like words of affirmation, or does he respond better when you give him gifts? Whatever his love language is – learn it and USE IT.  Edited to add: If you are unfamiliar with the principles behind love languages, you can learn more about it here.
  9. Never talk negatively about him.  - I learned this lesson the hard way too. If you’re going through a difficult time in your marriage and you need advice, see a counselor. Family counseling is a great tool, but try to remember that your family members and friends are not the most objective people to give advice. The argument they are hearing is one-sided and they often build up negative feelings toward your spouse, which usually doesn’t subside once you and your husband have gotten past it. Protect his image with those that you’re close with and seek help from those that can actually be objective.  News flash, ladies – your mother cannot be objective!
  10. Choose to love.  - There are times in a marriage that you may wake up and not feel in love anymore. Choose to love anyway. There are times when you may not be attracted to your husband anymore. Choose to love anyway. Marriage is a commitment. In sickness and health, in good times and in bad. Those vows are sacred. They don’t say “if you have bad times”. They say “in good times AND in bad”, implying that there WILL be bad times. It’s inevitable. So choose to love anyway. He’s worth it.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog!

I'm a full-time working mother, currently of one, who is passionate about staying fit, saving my family money and being well, fabulous!

Writing is what keeps my head clear. And sharing good ideas is what I find rewarding. I welcome you to join me on my journey in motherhood and hopefully saving you money, one coupon at a time.